i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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