It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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