she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
