You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
