Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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