Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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