just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
