I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
