I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
