I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My liver just broke up with me...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
