All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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