I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize