I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
