Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
