After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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