she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
