Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
