you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
