Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
