I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
