Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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