Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
