Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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