as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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