Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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