There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
