so let's talk penis.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize