Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
