1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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