quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
