Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
