found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
