I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
