In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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