Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
