You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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