Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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