Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
