just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
