then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
