Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
