whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
