we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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