I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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