Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
