Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
