how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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