YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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