Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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