Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
