sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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