You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
