Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
