..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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