I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
