oh god the rape fog is back!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
