playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
