i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
