you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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