Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
