Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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