is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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